First off, I want to say how sorry I am for completely neglecting my muses, my RP partners, and assvengers team members for the past several weeks. I know I’ve made quite a few posts explaining that I’d be back; I’d be more dedicated to this type of writing. But I feel that I can’t hold that promise, and the best thing to do right now is to remove myself from the team.
I’ve been a lot busier this year in school, taking on a few more responsibilities and extracurriculars. My laptop is slowly aging and dying (hopefully I can get a new one in October) and I think that’s deterred me some. I feel like Rachel would say “I thought so!” here (lol): I also started a serious relationship in the past year and, seeing as we will be in a long-distance-relationship come August, we’ve been spending time together as much as possible. And with both of us being very involved in our schools and communities and work, sometimes that’s hard to work out.
I’ve met great people through RPing, team chat and team events were a blast, and I’ve enhanced my writing. I’ve enjoyed my time here as a RPer. But, I feel now that I can’t hold my commitment to this part of Tumblr to be able to enjoy it anymore.
I think I owe celestialdaydreams the biggest apology. I helped in making a long-term plan with our characters, and I fell through on my promise.
Overall, I think I’ve changed a lot in the past year or so since I joined the Assvengers group in April 2013. I’m not sure that I can fit RPing into my lifestyle anymore. Plus, with a pretty full summer schedule, I don’t want to stay around on the team if I cannot be of much use.
To all of my RP partners: thank you for being there. Thank you for interacting with me, joking around with me, and giving me advice and aid whenever needed. Hopefully I can still talk with some of you guys in the future.
With this, I am resigning my muses, Jormungandr and Bianca Fong, from the Assvengers RP Group. I hope your next SHIELD psychologist is as analytic and as clear-headed as Bianca and the next Jormungandr to be snarky and slippery ;) .
when you say poolnoodle cucumberbench is unattractive and ppl go “are [picture of him] you [gif of him] confused [extreme hq pic]” and i’m like yeah no that dude’s ugly you just keep posting pictures of the ugly dude what am i supposed to do with this information
((Umm yeah this would be me if you replace Benedict with Channing Tatum.))
Cause I said so and cause I’m older I’m always right.”
"Hmmm…." Jor stands right in front of Fenrir, estimating his height.
"If you’re older, why am I bigger?”
"I see you found yourself a human skin to wear. Since you’re not biting your tail, can I assume you asgardian’s have decided to blow up the pretty little ball of dirt I made?"
"All of your assumptions are false," stated Jormungandr sharply. "As far as I know, Midgard is here to stay…and I am not one of the Asgardians."
"You are such an idiot, baby brother."
"And how am I an idiot?" he smiles.
"They are sleeping. You should look in on them. Ormi … he is just like you, his pouting little lips." Her words drifted as she looked up at Jormungandr.
She knew that his words were sincere, but his life had been a wash of confusion and turmoil for the longest of times. His self idetity had holes and garbled knots from where he had seemingly pieced it together, but that didn’t bother Penny. He was the shy man who had given himself to her wholly, who had fathered her children and still returned to her bed. No matter what happened, he was Ormi’s daddy, Olive’s papa, they were his flesh and his blood, the ties that bind.
"You are still you. You look different, but what’s inside your heart, that’s what counts, Jormungadr. I …" She wasn’t sure what to say to him. There seemed to be a breech she wasn’t sure she had the ability to bridge.
"You can be whoever you want to be, you have the strength, the power, you are the man that I love and that won’t ever change."
Jormungandr turned to face her. She was right. He had already made a permanent mark on the world already, without destroying it. He and Penelope had changed each others’ lives, and created two more. Jor had a true identity in the eyes of Penelope, Ormi, and Olive. He still belonged to his mother, his father, Fenrir, and Hel.
He brought Penelope into a hug. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “The last thing I want to do is make you feel hurt. Please do not pity me.”
As he relaxed himself, pulling out of their embrace, Jor said this: “I need to go see them.”
And he did so, quietly opening the door to their room. The twins were still asleep, wrapped up in neat blanket bundles. He did finally notice that Ormi’s lips were like his own, exactly what Pen had mentioned. But he knew Ormi had his mother’s eyes. Both babies did.
Jor smiled a little, knowing that this was his true home.
It broke her heart. As she stood outside the door and listened to him speak as though he was alone. It had not been easy for her either. A single mother with two newborn babes of Jotnar heritage. That was his purpose, she thought to herself. With a sigh, Penelope stepped into the bedroom that she and Jorm shared. It seemed like an eternity had passed since they had been here together.
"You are a father," she whispered as she sat upon the bed. "You have two tiny little children who need you, Jormungandr."
She refused to look at him. His purpose had always been his loyalty to his father, Ragnarok, he’d built himself up as the all powerful son of the God of Mischief, and now here he was engaged in self loathing and doubt. Penelope was helpless.
Jormungandr dropped his hands at the sound of her voice, wiping most of the emotion from his face. He dared not turn to face her yet. If the twins had been sleeping now, he realized, he may have woken them.
"I’m sorry." These words were genuine, delivered on a whisper. He hung his head low, like a defeated wolf scampering from the fight. Jor didn’t want to upset her more than he already had. He’d been absent too much, too unsure about himself even before now, and not confident in her. Physically, he wasn’t even the same man anymore. What he couldn’t understand was why she kept loving him. "I’ve no idea who I am now."
His hands unfurled from fists, relaxing. “I’m just not who they say I am anymore. I don’t even know if I need to hold this realm together, and if I can test those limits.”
"I’ve spent weeks in the ocean….all for nothing."
Jormungandr grit his teeth, prepared to lash his words at anyone who dared argue his statement.
"As soon as I heard this historically accurate prediction for Ragnarok that the Midgardians circulated, I fled to my position, wrapped around this planet. I wasn’t the only one who prepared…was I? I was doing everything I was told to do, destined to do.
"Whatever day it was that Ragnarok was supposed to begin, Loki did not kill Baldr. The eternal winter did not begin. For what purpose was I for then, if I am not destined to play my part? Was there no real need to put me here in the frigid depths of these oceans? If I am not destined for death by Mjolnir and its wielder’s death by my poison, what am I to do?"
He covered his face with his hands, hiding his pained expression. Although there was no one else in the room.
Should’ve killed me when I was young and naive, Odin.